Fall Into Me
by TutorGirlml
Summary: Two Parter for Kenzie and Deeks...It's taken them both a long time to admit what they feel. Who will be the one to reach out and let them both fall?
1. Fall Into Me Part 1

_So, oddly enough, I'm trying out all kinds of new fandoms with my writing lately. Before I am completely swept away in my new "Once Upon A Time" obsession, I thought I would post this NCIS:LA one-shot I've been carrying around. It starts out with Kenzie's perspective after the Season 2 episode "Personal", and then the second part picks up with Deeks' side of things following the Season 3 ep "Blye, K. Part 2". Hope you enjoy! Of course, I don't own them – though, wouldn't that be fun?! _

_The song lyrics included and used for the title are from Sugarland's "Fall Into Me"._

"_**Fall Into Me" **_

_**By: TutorGirlml**_

…_When your faith is stretched so thin that you can see straight through your soul; And you can't find a nickel to buy a smile 'cause your pockets all got holes; You wanna shut the door and hide before your day gets any worse I wanna be the one you reach for first…._

By the time Kenzie Blye finally found herself alone in her partner's hospital room after Hetty, the rest of the team, his doctor, and more than one nurse had all filed in and out for the last time that night, the evening shadows were lengthening into full dark, and she found her eyes struggling to stay open as adrenaline flagged and exhaustion seeped in to take its place. She found the chair beside Deeks' bed and sank into it wearily; relieved that it was finally quiet and she could stop pretending that she was fine. There had been no question in her mind about leaving him alone in a hospital all night; she was staying, no matter what. Still, she was glad it was finally just the two of them. It had become quite a job trying to hide the guilt, when the attack at the hospital entrance had made it quite clear that her partner had only been targeted as a means to get to her. Yet, Deeks had still disconnected all the monitors and staggered out of his room to have her back. Her whole "Bad Ass Blye persona had been earned rightly, but she didn't want to pretend anymore when she realized that she could be about to lose a second partner. Kenzie was abruptly discovering that she was not as tough, at least where Marty Deeks was concerned, as she always intended to be.

Sure, Deeks made her crazy. He picked on her quirks, teased her, and goaded her into letting him have his own way. He took everything much less seriously than she would like. He flirted with her in a way that bordered on getting them both in trouble, and she hated herself for enjoying it. However, he was only able to push her buttons so easily because he knew her better than anyone ever had. Somehow, he had wheedled and joked and gotten himself closer to her than she usually allowed people to get. He hadn't worked with her nearly as long as Callen or Sam, but – if pressed – she would be forced to guess that he could make a whole list things he had noticed about her that the others had not. She and Deeks argued and griped out of habit – and even a good deal of affection – more than out of annoyance, and she knew it.

She brushed some loose flyaways of hair that had escaped from her ponytail out of her face and looked down at Deeks' sleeping profile. He looked so innocent and young just then when he wasn't making wisecracks or smirking at her knowingly… It was then that she was shocked to feel moisture gathering in the corners of her eyes. She had almost gotten her partner killed. Shaking her head vigorously, refusing to cry, Kenzie willed the thought away, glad once again that everyone else had gone.

She glanced back at Marty, only to see that he had turned his head to look at her, opened his eyes, and was smiling up at her groggily, though still with a bit of his trademark impish glee. "Miss me, Fern?" he mumbled sleepily, trying to sound rakish.

Kenzie rolled her eyes at his attempt of flirty bravado, but she reached out to squeeze his hand quickly. "You wish," she shot back, understanding that he didn't want her treating him with kid gloves now that he was conscious again. He didn't need to know how terrified she had honestly been, seeing him slump against that pillar, his blood seeping through the bandages, after taking the shot that had saved her, or how worried she had been ever since. He didn't need to know that she had been realizing how much fun he was, how much she would miss him if he were gone; it would only make him insufferably pleased with himself. Still, she couldn't help adding, "I'm glad you're okay, though, Partner."

"Of course you are," he murmured, making her smile, even though she could see that the banter took more effort from him than usual. His eyes already looked as if they were struggling not to flutter closed again sleepily.

"Why don't you just rest a little longer, Romeo?" she admonished, wanting to smack her own hand when it reached out of its own volition to smooth his wild, surfer-blonde curls off of his forehead. "You can go back to flirting hopelessly when you're stronger."

Marty Deeks didn't let her affectionate tousling of his hair go unnoticed though, as his eyes followed her hand smugly once she snatched it back. He was wise enough not to comment however; Kenzie might not want to hurt him anymore right now, but she had a long memory. Anyone who'd had Kenzie slug them as much as he had learned to leave well enough alone. He wished he had both the energy and the guts to reach out and take her hand in his. To be completely honest, it would help immensely to steady him. When he had figured out that she was in danger that afternoon, he had staggered after her to the hospital entrance, only to find her on the ground about to be shot by their terrorist point blank. He had barely gotten there in time, and the quivering in his insides at the thought of seeing her die right before him had yet to subside completely.

He felt his blood loss and exhaustion beginning to drag his eyelids back down as he tried to study her. She was there at his bedside – comforting, whole, and well. She was the one who had been hunted down today, and yet here, now, she seemed cool as a cucumber. He couldn't help but wonder at her strength and determination yet again, for probably the hundredth time since he had met her. If she ever did actually need a shoulder to cry on, he would be shocked, but he also hoped with all of his being that the needed shoulder would someday be his…

_Fall into me My arms are open wide and you don't have to say a word 'Cause I already see, that it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts I wanna be the one you reach for first…_

His had been a ramshackle, rough-and-tumble, bounced-around life growing up. Despite his light-hearted, easygoing front, there was still a young boy inside of Marty Deeks, seeking the approval and affection of a mother and father who had been lost to him much too soon. He'd had to grow up in a split second; Sam and Callen might joke that he was _still _making up for it by being an overgrown child now. Yet, he knew somehow that they understood enough with their own histories to see that he carried shades and demons of his own, as they all did.

Why he sometimes felt compelled to share the whole story with Kenz was beyond him. To say that she wasn't a particularly sympathetic or maternal personality was an understatement, and yet, somehow, he felt that having her know all he had been through, and hopefully still care about him anyway, seemed like it would provide an immense comfort. The question was: would he ever know for sure?


	2. Fall into Me Part 2

_And here is Part Two of "Fall into Me", several months later, when Kenzie has to go on the run after looking into her father's death. Deeks may finally get answers to his questions…._

_I still don't own them; I've only missed them like crazy over the summer! _

**Fall Into Me, Part 2**

Marty Deeks had to live with his yearning and his questions for a few months more, as it turned out. When they learned that Kenzie had been making trips to Hawaii to investigate her father's long-cold murder case, Deeks realized that he should have known what she was up to, and wondered with some hurt why she hadn't told him. When Deputy Director Granger warned her out of Hawaii and off the case, he was both protective and angry, as he sensed Callen and Sam were also. And when she went rogue on them, he felt truly bereft – almost lost – without his partner, and desperate to find her before she got herself killed, or did something NCIS couldn't forgive.

Things unspooled better than he might have expected in the end. Kenzie was a little worse for wear, but alive, still his partner, and with the team. Not only that, but he had met her mother, a link to her past that he knew no one else had been allowed to make. Kenzie had trusted him to protect her mom when she had known she couldn't do it alone. Realistically, he knew that was probably all anyone would get from Kenzie Blye – she was so determined to handle everything on her own, determined that she could handle any trouble without help or without admitting any weakness.

Deeks had tracked her down now, and was watching her unawares as she sat silently in the warm, California breeze looking down at something in her lap which he couldn't make out from a distance. He studied the lean, graceful lines of her shoulders and spine, realizing almost longingly how much he wanted to brush the brown strands of hair being whipped across her face by the warm ocean wind out of her eyes and tuck them behind her ears. His fingers tingled at the mere thought of it – though he wasn't sure if the sensation came from imagining the texture and feel her hair might have, or from the entirely logical fear that she might break every finger on that hand if he gave into his urge.

He shouldn't be spying on her without announcing his presence; it seemed pretty clear that she had come out here to be alone; yet, by the same turn, Deeks found that he needed to see her with his own eyes, safe and in one piece. She was tough and had fought off a determined killer, but he also wished she didn't feel she needed to heal and bottle it all away alone. Maybe, just maybe, she did want a little company as she nursed bruises, scrapes, and the painful truth about her father's death and how much he had loved her.

At that moment, Kenzie seemed to straighten herself, as though finished with whatever reflection she'd been having, and it was then that Deeks let himself draw nearer, clearing his throat to warn her of his presence.

She turned, seeming startled, and the setting sun glinted a burnished red-gold on her chestnut mane. Deeks tried to read the expression in those intriguing, mismatched eyes, to gauge whether they held welcome, annoyance, or hurt. She snapped closed the book that had been open on her lap, but she didn't turn away from him and graced him with a small smile.

"Hey Buddy," he greeted casually, lowering himself to sit beside her in the sand, stretching his legs out before him and playfully wiggling his toes inside his sandals. "I wondered if you'd like some company."

She snorted inelegantly at his words, even as the mischievous smile she wore widened, "Would you leave me alone if I said no?" she countered.

"Probably not," he smirked, shrugging off the playful insult, as he had expected no less from her. This was the way they had always related to each other.

Quiet stretched between them after that, and though it wasn't the natural state Marty Deeks preferred, they were comfortable there together without any more words needing to be spoken. The salt air brushed both of their faces as gulls cried out and orange, pink, and purple streaked across the sky and met the waves.

Nothing more disturbed the peace until he felt Kenzie shifting anxiously next to him. Glancing over, he just caught a glimpse of her hand brushing under her eyes, and then her eyes blinking rapidly several times. In all honesty, it was the closest to any sort of emotional breakdown or tears he had ever seen from her. There was nothing he wanted more than to take her hand and give it a comforting squeeze or to put an arm around her shoulders and hold her close.

He hesitated to ask her what was wrong, but he would rather stick a foot in his mouth for the fiftieth time than to miss the moment she would finally let him in. It was time his partner learned she could lean on him – if she only would…

…_I wanna be the bottle you've been drinking with your eyes, or the road you run away on – you've been running all your life – the third row pew that you last knew as a child in the church; I wanna be the one you reach for first…_

Clearing his throat, Deeks eventually decided to plunge right in – like facing a monster wave of surf, it was sink or swim. "You okay, Fern?" He tilted his head, trying to study her and meet her eyes without appearing to pry.

She rolled her shoulders back and focused her downturned eyes on her fingers sifting through the sand. She was silent so long that he had accepted that she wasn't going to answer and turned his gaze back to the horizon, when she spoke, her voice low and strained with harnessed emotion. "Hetty and Granger gave me my dad's combat journal…" she began, before trailing off again for another long pause.

Deeks knew better than to rush her, and he happily waited for her to continue, just glad she was willing to share at last what she was going through. All he dared do in response was inch himself enough closer to bump his shoulder against hers and allow the touch of support to connect them from there on down their arms. He just wanted her to know he was there – and always would be. She had been left behind, alone, too long; she had picked up the pieces and soldiered on by herself all of her life, but he didn't want her to do it so long she became impenetrable. Any person needs a chance to break and be caught by someone worthy of trust – and even Kenzie Blye was no exception.

She finally blew out a long breath and forced several clipped, pained phrases out in the following rush. "He never wanted to leave me. I wasn't an annoyance. He missed me as much as I missed him…" Her mouth snapped closed again after that last, as if she couldn't bear to pour out anymore.

Deeks couldn't help it; his hand literally moved independent of his mind's orders. Tenderly, his fingers cradled her chin and turned her face toward his, forcing eye contact and giving her a gentle smile, "Of course he did. How could anyone _not _miss you?"

She tried to slide her eyes away, to brush off his frightening sincerity, but he could see the walls had already been shattered by the way her eyes widened and her mouth fell open; for once, no coherent comeback anywhere she could find.

"All this time…" she whispered, almost shivering at his intense, adoring scrutiny, but having to go on now that she had started speaking, and it had to be him she told it all to. "I loved him, believed there had to be more to the story of what happened to him, but I didn't think I would ever find my answers. It's almost like I don't know what to feel now…"

At first he didn't answer, and it disconcerted her, even as it gave her encouragement to continue. Marty Deeks always had a witty comment, an opinion, or joke, but now he was only listening, focused on giving support and offering no judgment.

"I blamed my mom for betraying him, and I've shut her out of my life to punish her all this time… How could I have been so wrong about everything?" She stared into his eyes so plaintively and with such focus that he almost thought she was going to fish the answers out. Then, she turned away sharply, savagely scraping up a handful of sand as if to toss it to vent anger, and gasped at the pain in her abused ribs.

Deeks started forward on instinct at seeing her hurt, catching her hand in his and uncurling her clutched fingers so the sand was released, pouring over both of their fingers. He pulled her flush against his side and wrapped an arm around her while he had the chance. Waiting several seconds with tensely held breath, he fully expected her to shove him away, stand, and stalk off from him. Yet, seconds and then minutes passed, and Kenzie didn't flinch or move away. In fact, she finally relaxed against his side and even allowed her head to come to rest on his shoulder.

She didn't say anything more; she didn't cry or even sniffle, but he couldn't help thinking she was finally taking some comfort and letting herself grieve, and that she might be starting to let some of her burdens go. When several minutes had passed in peaceful silence, Kenzie gingerly eased back to sit straight again, and only because he knew every nuance of her face so well, did Deeks notice the lines of tension easing slightly from her brow and a few rapid blinks to be sure to keep back any errant tears which might have tried to escape her tight control.

"Kenz?" he murmured, keeping his voice quiet and praying he would find the right words. "You couldn't have known what they tried to keep from you. What you did as a kid was based on what you knew and could understand. Believe me, I know quite a bit about being a kid having to deal with heavy stuff you can't fully grasp."

She glanced at him with curiosity, and then empathy, in her intoxicating gaze, and he felt his heart swell with the feel of it, but she didn't interrupt. He continued, feeling a little surer of his way as she seemed to take his words in. "I'm glad your dad knew you loved him so fiercely. He needed your faith in him, don't you think? And…" here he licked his lips, hoping he wasn't crossing the bounds of what she would consider his business, "your mom isn't gone. It isn't too late to let her back in."

Kenzie stared right back into his eyes now, not letting him glance away. The vulnerability he saw before him nearly stole his breath, it was so open and out of character. "You think she would want me back in her life? Still? After everything?" she questioned.

"I do," he nodded, not a doubt in his mind after meeting and speaking to Kenzie's mother. Not only had he heard as much from the woman's own lips, but once someone had Kenzie Blye in his life, how could he want to do without her?

"Did you already take her back home?" Kenzie asked him next.

"Yeah, she's there. Safe and sound."

He could see her mind working, her emotions warring with her pride as she bit her lip, deep in thought. Knowing what she needed, he stood and stretched out his long legs, then looked down at her, hoping to help her make the decision. "I know she wants to see you," he assured. "Come on, let me take you to her, Partner."

He offered her his hand and a lopsided grin, and she returned it with a truly grateful smile, taking his hand and letting him help her up.

…_Before you turn the key Before you fall asleep Before you drift away to fight those demons waiting for you in your dreams Before your arms are stretched wide open Before you're searching for direction and all the answers to your whys Fall into me… I wanna be the one you reach for first._


End file.
